Tuesday, March 15, 2011
My desire for a new way of living part 2
After I decided to change my way of life and knowing turning it over to my Father in heaven was the only way of true change, I began searching for support groups to help me change my way of thinking and heal from the abuse I suffered as a child. Because with those things still looming over me nothing was going to change deep down inside. During the process of examining my life and marriage I saw just how chaotic it was. And after searching God's Word I found "God is not a God of Confusion and disorder but of peace and order" (1 Corinthians 14:33 amp) I had to admit that putting my life in Gods hands was the only thing to do if I truly was wanting to change.And that verse was a reminder that my life was not in His hands. It was still in mine. and I was failing.
As I continued to examine my life it was full of chaos disorder and plenty of confusion and that was no way to live. I was tired of it because it didn't get me any where. Except heart ache pain and illnesses.
AS I write this verse I smile because occasionally my life is still in disorder as I try to do too much in a short amount of time. But during my quite time recently I asked God which of the studies and books I have on Christianity and knowing Him did he want me to read? His answer- was so simple- “all you need to read is my word the bible.”Oh man that blew me away. Because here I was trying to read and follow too many studies and books at once just to get close and know who Jesus was when all I needed was His Word.
Now equipped with His answer I read the bible and copy verses onto 3x5 or 4x11 cards that speak to me for easy reference later.
So now that my life is in God's control it is time to follow His lead. And that next step was / is to get rid of all the junk that had been collected over the years about who I was and change the tapes that had been recorded and recording since childhood.
And for that I would need a counselor or support group. Because it would not be easy and doing alone was not in my vocabulary anymore!