“We are as sick as our secrets” so the saying goes. And most times those secrets keep us stuck gripped in the power of the past. and where we are. When we are stuck we don't go any where. But what happens when we are not only stuck but we also look back and where we have been? In Gen 19:26 Lot's wife was turned into a pillar of salt when she looked back. I don't know about you but just because I like salt doesn't mean I want to be turned into a pillar of it.
Now don't get me wrong often times looking back can be a good thing, looking back can be beneficial if we are seeing how much weight we have lost, how far we have come since the beginning on a journey, Anything that reflects positive reflection is a good thing. But when it keeps us from moving forward in a good healthy direction we have to examine what is keeping us stuck and looking back.
In the recovery world we are to tell our secrets to God and to others. Well to others since God knows everything about us. It says so in Psalm 139. He knew us before we were even formed he recorded every aspect of our lives in his book. There is NOTHING hidden from him. Personally I think we work at hiding it from ourselves. Often times not willing to accept or face what has been done to us or what we have done for various reasons. I was one of them. If I just don't think about it it will go away. But it doesn't it just festers and gets worse. My secret was I was abused as I grew up. Physically mentally. emotionally and sexually. I got good at hiding behind masks so no one knew what my home life was like. I am just now beginning the healing journey of connecting with my soul and discovering who this person is that God my Heavenly Father created.
AS apart of my journey I am writing my story so others can read and know they aren't alone and so my secret loses its grip. You can read my story here_http://outoftheshadowsofabuse.blogspot.com/. I will be posting a new entry weekly. This will give me time to check it for errors and also not be over whelming to me or others who choose to read it. I hope you share this healing journey with me as we work together to uncover secrets that have kept us stuck.
So my connecting to the soul question- what secret am I holding on to that keeps me stuck where I am and not allowing me to move forward?
Hi Debi,
ReplyDelete"What secret am I holding on to that keeps me stuck where I am and not allowing me to move forward?"
A good question for all but especially for anyone who experienced terrible things in the past like you did.
You mentioned Psalm 139. Yes, God knows everything there is to know about each of us. It is we who must face the secrets in our past that keep us "from moving forward in a good healthy direction."
Committing one's life to God is the first step. This gives us the faith to acknowledge that God is sovereign and that NOTHING happens to us but what he has decided to allow. Abraham, said, "Shall not the Judge of all the world do right?" We must have faith that God knows what he's doing.
When God has allowed something terrible like what happened in your past, it is important to accept it as his will. There is evil in the world. Sometimes God protects us from it, and sometimes he does not. But he never allows things into our lives to destroy our lives. You'll remember Joseph's brothers who had originally planned to kill him but ended up selling him into slavery in Egypt. Years later, Joseph said to his brothers, "You meant it for evil, but God meant it for good."
Can you see any good coming out of what happened to you? I can. Your blog and story are evidences of one "good." You can be of great help to others who have experienced such evil. I see even a more specific "good": you can demonstrate to other girls who have experienced sexual trauma that it is still possible to survive it without letting it ruin her life and happiness. God can heal her wounds, and like you, she can have a very wonderful and beautiful marriage.
Look to God for even more ways he can produce "good" out of what happened to you.
Ken