Monday, November 18, 2013

A Step Back to Alter My Journey

Well last week I stepped back from school to take a break. Not for Thanksgiving or Christmas. But a time to reevaluate my goal.  Although my husband didn't want me to quit there was just something that was starting to gnaw at me and I could not quite put my finger on it.

Previously before leaving school I had found myself crying at odd times during the day. This lasted three days. Not just whimpers, these were down right heart wrenching  my heart was being ripped from my chest sobs. As I cried I called out to God asking for guidance and help and  strength. I sought advise from school administrators  friends family ( those who supported my efforts of being a writer any way - the rest I gave up on years ago).

Several said Withdrawing is better than failing, while others said tough it out things aren't always as easy as we hope.  While this is true, sitting in class seeing blank words and not understanding them day after day and failing tests because what I am supposed to be learning isn't sinking in. I did not like the idea of giving up.  Since my signature on my email says. "Never stop dreaming" does  withdrawing from classes I don't see leading to a writing degree giving up on my degree?

Shouldn't a writing student be taking classes that will help with writing? I mean classes like math science, bio history while great ( except math, if i want a mathematical genius I will hire 'charlie epps) how can I as a writer use that  except for research purposes. What I as a  writer want to take are classes such as literature, grammar, spelling, reading, language arts, how to write query letters, synopses (is that how to spell that) and other classes that will surround writing stories of any length.

So after three days of soul searching tears I made the decision of leaving school for a while to actually do what I went to school to do- WRITE.

I don't feel I have given up just taken a different path that will lead to my goal .

 A side note:  when I was talking to one instructor about the amount of papers I was writing ( only 1  which was due at the end of  the semester) she  said "I never heard a student say they werent getting enough to write about." I told her that's because that's who I am and what I do. "I am a writer. and tha'ts what I do  write."

So my connecting to the soul thoughtis this:

" Is what I am doing ( or what  you are doing) something that touches your soul in a way nothing else has or can? Is what you or I doing something that fills you and satisfies you like nothing else can?

If not  find that something that  does.

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